Idealized Child
Tag Archives: childhood
A Mother at Bedtime
Evenings are a rush
Of time
Of patience
Of love
Brush your teeth, put on your jammies
Settle so I can tuck you in
sudden bursts of energy of children not ready for bed
You want a story, a podcast, music
Mommy needs quiet, peace, sleep
Mommy loves you
But she is tired
Her ears are ringing from the noise of childhood
Her head is throbbing from the chaos
Your joy is overwhelming
Especially at the last minute
How can such a tiny person make so much noise
Finally silence
The rush of sleep falls over you
Your tiny body gives in to weary
A sudden realization of exhaustion
And I will sit here silently
Until you fall asleep
You need me
I need you
I need your chaos
Your laughter
Your joy
One Day
he hated when my belt pushed against him in the womb
and then one day he was grown
he screamed so loud when he was born he went to the NICU
and then one day he was grown
he refused bottles at daycare because he wanted me to nurse
and then one day he was grown
he learned to walk and rawr
in the same week
and then one day he was grown
he scrapped both knees
called his bandaids stickers
and then one day he was grown
he fell asleep after five minutes in the car but wouldn’t sleep in his crib
and then one day he was grown
he was obsessed with dinosaurs and Paw Patrol
and then one day he was grown
he was so brave on his first day of school while I bawled
and then one day he was grown
he is thirsty for knowledge when it’s something he loves
and then one day he’ll be grown
he is so wild and exhausting and full of life
and then one day he’ll be grown
he still needs me to sit with him at night when he gets scared
and then one day he’ll be grown
he still says he loves me every once in a blue moon
and then one day he’ll be grown.
Shattered
Hurt before she’d been
A plate shattered on the floor
And then suddenly
Someone came to pick her up
Without even knowing it
They glued her back together
Piece by piece
Where is Home
When you ask me about the house I grew up in,
I’ll ask you which one and where
The perks of a military child.
Seven houses by the time I was 15. All the same in walls and doors
A place to call home at the end of the day
But which one really is home? I’ll never know
For that moment in time they were where my heart resided
But even now when they say “you can always go home”
I can’t
It’s not home anymore not as it once was.
I’ve grown and time has changed me
It’s just a house I used to live in now.
-b.e.
M
It should have been you.
But it wasn’t.
And now I’m mourning a relationship that never existed.
-b.e.
Poems in the Dark
I write my poems in the dark.
Tapping away on the dimmed phone screen.
The tiny computer in my pocket holds my deepest thoughts.
Soft music lulls my children to sleep
While I type away my thoughts
Feelings of the past, moments in the present
A passing phrase or word floats in my mind
Until it finds its way through the keyboard to my notes.
My babies tucked in their beds beside me.
My life, my inspiration, my thoughts all float freely here.
I write my poems in the dark
It’s where I feel the most like me.
-b.e.
Waves
Love is a wave.
Rushing at you like water towards the shore.
It’ll wash away stones leaving beautiful memories behind.
Shiny little shells, each with a story to tell.
It’ll crash into you and knock you back a step.
And as it rushes back, it pulls you deeper.
Slowly, little by little, until all at once,
you’re wrapped in waves and carried out to sea.
-b.e.
b.e. poetry: A place for my words 